IN Nanjing

So this one time my friend’s friend came to visit Nanjing. We’ll just call him “Anthony” because that’s what his mother named him. At one point, we heard that a hotel was looking for a foreigner to pretend to be a priest at a wedding. Since the entire purpose of coming to China is to have new experiences and there’s really nothing quite as much fun as sacrilege, he agreed.

We arrive at the hotel and are greeted by one of the staff. He leads us off to one of the bathrooms and hands my friend what can only be described as a white wizard’s robe.

Throw in a big white staff, a pointy hat, and an elf and we’re good to go. I’m Viggo Mortensen of course.

The face has been blurred to protect the sinful. Don’t worry Anthony, God still knows what you did. You’ll notice the fake leather bound day planner in his hands that has his script in it.

If you have never gone to a Chinese wedding, you need to make more Chinese friends. Although be prepared to drink copious amounts of Baijiu. I’m a strong believer in eating McDonalds beforehand as it makes a good stomach lining that will ensure you don’t throw up on the bride, which is considered rude.
While not at all traditional, this wedding featured a game wherein the groom had to pick out his bride from a number of women dressed in bridal gowns. They had even arranged a “NA-NA” sound effect for when he guessed incorrectly (which he did).
Shortly after that, Father Anthony took the stage alongside a Chinese “priest” (we didn’t ask for his seminary school diploma) and they took turns reading what may or may not have been the same script in both Chinese and English. As Anthony was only in China for a few days, he struggled a lot with the names of the bride and groom and the poorly translated blessings but he managed to get through it.

We sat down, ate a little food, drank some wine, and Anthony got paid 400 RMB for his performance.

Note: If you’ve been around Nanjing too long, you might think you recognize the guy above. You don’t. His real name is Anthony and he’s from England. There are many bald white guys in this world.